When the Moon is Dark We Can See the Stars

2010-02-09T06:49:00.000-08:00

Simply Be

It is raining hard and has been raining all night! We need this rain and the sound is sweet. It seems to say" stay inside by the fire and enjoy being...just being". I seem to be craving that right now. The time to simply be, with out a huge self-created to do list or an agenda to follow, meetings to attend or people to call....and oh my, what would it be like if I did not open my computer all day?

So, the rain is reminding me that if I make a list, I must put 'simply be' at the top of the list! It does not have to be an all day event but through out the day I must be willing to be quiet,check in and "simply be". It is at these times that I will naturally connect with myself and what I am feeling or needing. It is the basis of self care. I will also connect with the Source of All. How ecstatic to feel Energy spontaneously bubble up and move through me ,like a wave of love embracing every cell of my being. I wonder. why I get to busy for these special moments,freely offered for my health,joy and peace of mind and heart!

2010-01-28T19:59:00.000-08:00

The Year is Up and Now What?

I gave myself a year after the book was published to promote it and now the year is up!

Well, it seems that the book does not keep track of time and is keeping me as busy as ever. Although I know that this is a very good thing and I enjoy all that the book creates, I must admit I am 'chomping at the bit' to get writing again!I wake up with wonderful thoughts and ideas but before I can get to my writing, I find myself doing the book's work...answering emails from readers,setting up talks,conferences and meetings. I continue to be in awe of the responses to the book. Will I ever get used to the ways the book has impacted readers? I sort of hope I will always be surprised and delighted. It is such a wonderful feeling to know that the book is touching so many lives! Finally, I am beginning to acknowledge that this first book will forever be a part of my life,sort of like a child! I must then just begin to create another! But, can I handle two very active,enthusiastic offspring,I ask myself? Perhaps, that has more to do with my procrastination than anything else!

A Delightful Kick in the Pants"

2009-11-21T15:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was speaking with a friend who in a very sweet way mentioned that the last blog I wrote was more than a month ago. It really did not make much of a dent on my thick skull until she told me how much she was getting from reading my blog. What a delightful surprise that was! So, here I am.

What my friend was touched by in my last blog was the story of my didgeridoo lesson. She said it inspired her to try something new and not to worry if she could not master it immediately! Well, that was great but I must fess up...so far that was my one and only music lesson and I hesitate to return because I can not figure out how to blow into the pipe and at the same time bring air back. They call it circular breathing. Do I dare return to my teacher with out having accomplished this? I guess I better! Thanks friend!

2009-10-07T19:37:00.000-07:00

From the time I was a child I was told that I was tone deaf, mostly because I could never sing on key. People laugh when I sing but I sing anyway. My children tell me that when I sing in church others around me stop singing. Perhaps it's hard to sing next to someone who is singing off key. I am so busy singing my heart out I don't ever notice! I am told that when we sing, we pray twice...sounds good to me! All this to preface my adventure today! I took my first music lesson since my one attempt to play the accordion in 4th grade. I am learning to play the Didjeridu...amazing! If you have ever tried to play the Didjeridu, you know that the person playing has to purse their lips gently and blow air into the instrument. I spent most of the hour today trying to learn how to do this,first without the Didjeridu and then with it. I found myself quite amused because it seemed so silly to be making sounds and bubbles as though I were entertaining a little child! But it was also a challenge and finally I got it! Phew!! Stephen Kent is my teacher and he is a delight...patient and very supportive! Next, I will try to learn to breathe correctly. They call it circular breathing and it is definitely going to be a big challenge. Oddly enough,I can hardly wait for my next lesson! You can google Stephen Kent and listen to his music. It is enchanting.

There is something very special about pushing one's mental boundaries, the I can'ts that we live with ...empowering and fun! What might that be for you?

2009-10-05T12:11:00.000-07:00

It was 29 degrees here this morning. It was quite brisk as we walked our 6,000 steps (I have a new pedometer)! But now the sun is shining brightly through my windows and warming my cold bones! I try to be thankful each morning for the new day and for the sunshine but too often I find myself hurrying as soon as I awaken. As I write these words a warm feeling arises in my heart...a longing for quiet!

Earlier I saw a line from an email as I passed through the morning's mail. It read "Studies show impact of hopelessness, apathy on cardio-vascular system". Most of us know the impact that the studies have proven...not good!

So, as I pondered this, I asked myself" What keeps me happy and hopeful"? And the word""quiet arose in my mind before I even finished asking the question. I really like our morning walk when we are 'alone together' or quiet! It is a time for reflection and prayer for me and often very rich. I am always amazed by the wisdom in nature and ,of course,the peace! Taking time out during the day is also a way for me to check in,to give thanks and to feel the love within and all around me. It's like a mini nap that people speak about but for me,it's a mini moment of prayer! And then I think of one more thing...gratitude is the very best medicine for the woes that we face. If I am willing there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for and that moment of gratuitude can lift my spirit!

May your spirit be lifted up today by the sunshine in your heart!

2009-09-30T11:44:00.000-07:00

Well, here it is the end of September and I finally sit to write my blog...where does all the time go? Let me think!

For starters, Dave and I took a very long walk this morning from our San Francisco condo on the Embarcadrero, near the Giants Stadium to Coit Tower. It is a glorious day and the walk was terrific,even the hills and thousands of stairs we walked. I feel thankful that at 68 I can walk 7 plus miles up and down the hills of this beautiful city! Along the way we saw Daniel. Daniel is a homeless man who we have come to know. He has the most amazing trolly, piled high with his belongings, all neatly placed and labeled with the word 'Empire'. This is his Empire...and he is the magistrate of it all! I have a picture which I would like to post but not sure how quite yet! Looking at the photo, a friend commented" Daniel's Empire is a work of art". I think she is correct.

Then last week Dave and I went up to Bodega Bay for three glorious days! It was our 9th anniversary and we had a ball! We hiked,sat on our deck overlooking the water,ate great food ,laughed and celebrated the gift God has given us in each other. Yes, we are each other's teachers and yes, sometimes that is not easy but wow are we blessed!

The book is about to be republished by 'Irish Dove Press" and this has given the new publisher time to correct a few typos. It will be back up on Amazon soon. If you have not written a review and want to do so, wait a few days and surprise me!

There are lots of invitations to do book signings, give talks,retreats and workshops. I am off to Mount Shasta soon and look forward to being there.I am really enjoying all that is happening and continue to be so thankful that the book is touching those who read it. I am committed to doing what I can to get it to more and more people. I feel as though I am a servant of the book...interesting!Thanks for all you are doing to help!

I hope you are feeling blessed today!

Yesterday afternoon I met with Dr. Gloria Horsley who started and continues to run 'Open to Hope" an amazing web site for those who grieve. She is a delightful person....so real and so warm! We had a very animated conversation. Check out the web site. It is a wonderful resource for those who suffer from the of loss of a loved one.

2009-09-07T15:00:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

I met a friend at the farmers market on Saturday and she commented on my blog. She said she was REALLY enjoying it but that I had not written in a while...a long while! I was surprised and realized that people are reading it even though there are no comments.

Like all of us these days, I get busy, but with Ruth's comment,I have decided that since it is being read,I must take the time to write! It actually is a delight once I get started and I am always surprised at what comes out as I press the keys....not just the typos but the ideas.

Today,I am suddenly thinking about my high school reunion! It was 50 years ago that I graduated from Queen of the Rosary Academy in Amityville, New York! Amazing!

I am once again connecting with my 'old' friends and having a grand time. They are reading my book....and so are some of my teachers. Such fun! There were only two that I remained in contact with before now and suddenly there are many. I am sad that I will not be at the reunion. I had made a commitment to lead the St. Patrick's women's retreat....their first ever! Isn't it wonderful to have two very special things to choose from?

Recently,I have spoken to two lovely women who are feeling bored and lonely. They are in the midst of the empty nest syndrome. They feel as though they have nothing to do. I do not envy their loneliness but I sometimes dream about having time to simply be...to wander and to wonder without having 16 gazillion things to DO! They will find their way soon enough but in the meantime I encouraged them to enjoy the emptiness!

Well, I am off to the prison to teach Catholic Spirituality. The men read the reading of the day after check in and then I do a guided meditation. Envision 20 to 30 men lying on the chapel floor,eyes closed entering fully into an experience of God loving them. It is quite beautiful. We always leave feeling blessed!

I hope you are feeling loved and blessed today!

2009-07-16T15:07:00.001-07:00

Finally back home long enough to write a blog!

I have done a two week East Coast book tour with nine book signings and talks, as well as lots of visiting with family and friends! It was a wonderful two weeks.

Upon returning I gave the Keynote address at The Institute for Transpersonal Psychology in Menlo Park, Ca. It was very well received! I was invited to speak because the president of the university, Tom Potterfield and his wife, Donna, had read my book together and loved it!

I just returned from a second trip to New York where I gave a presentation at the Bereaved Parents USA Conference. This was a great conference, filled with hope and with lots of pain. There were 270 parents who were grieving the death of their child or childrn. I touched deeply the suffering in the room but also in the world. It was heart opening. I understood at a much deeper level than ever before why our God would come to earth... to help us on our journeys purely out of love and compassion. I was moved to tears many times but the biggest surprise was the overwhelming sense of love I felt for the people. I had planned my talk before I went and had a handout. I had a sense after a few hours at the conference that my time with the participants needed to be much more experiential and so it was. One woman with tears in her eyes said " I have looked for love my whole life and now,here in this room, I have found it within myself." Then she wept.

I want to return to the conference next year and this time I will prepare quite differently! It was a joy!

2009-05-24T14:19:00.000-07:00

Hello friends,

Here is the link from my very first radio show about the book!

www.voiceamericapd.com/health/010157/horsley051409.mp3

And if you go to www.opentohope.com and click on Memorial Day, you will see my essay!

Click on my name under authors and you will find other articles too.Enjoy!

I am finding myself very busy and very excited about the sharing of this book. It seems to be finding a home in many hearts. Recently,I realized that telling people about the book is like talking about my children which I do quite easily and with pride! I can not imagine promoting myself as I do the book...interesting!

Well, I am off to the East Coast( N.Y.,Pennsylvania,N.J.,Vermont and Boston)...a wild ride, for sure!

Wish me luck and send energy.

Blessings,

Pamela

More Surprises

2009-05-07T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I am back from Guatemala and fast at work with things to do with the book. The East Coast tour is gaining momentum and most days have some sort of book event. I am both excited because it means lots of people will hear about the book but also concerned...after all, I am not 22 years old anymore! Today, I learned that I will be on a TV show when In Huntington, N.Y. Apparently this show is doing a program on the history of Huntington and the producer saw my name advertised at Book Review, a big bookstore in Huntington. The TV folks recognized my name as an old Huntington family name and asked if I would be on the show. I am delighted, of course! Now, I must bone up on my family history and that will be fun!It seems as though my biggest duty now, is promoting the book...orders from headquarters. I am actually enjoying it very much. Maybe I will see you in New York or Pennsylvania or Vermont or New Jersey! Hopefully I will see you somewhere along the way!

A Wonderful Mix

2009-04-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

This morning we attended a delightful Mass at a very beautifully restored old church called Merced. It is the feast of San Pedro a third order Franciscan who came to Antigua from Spain in the 1500's. He spent his life educating the poorest of the poor and lovingly cared for the sick. His statue was on a special table on the altar decorated with flowers and beside him was an exquisite gold monstrance which held his relics. I was deeply moved by the humility and the simplicity of this man as I heard stories of his love for the people. After Mass, we went to a small Mayan village to see the ceremonies of the Mayan shamans mixed with Catholic saints. We watched the people pray to Maximon, a white skinned man with a mustache,a hat and a cigar. The Mayans say he visited their cities two thousand years ago and taught them the things they later read in the Bible.Maximon sat high up on an altar and was surrounded by flowers, different colored candles and firewater (alcohol!) Quite a scene! When we returned to Antigua, we watched the parade in honor of San Pedro. Women, men and even small children carried the flower laden float with the statue of San Pedro on top. Eight Mayan indian women proceeded the float and were dressed in their native rainbow colored, hand woven garb and had hand carved bowls of burning incense. The Franciscan priests, brothers and sisters as well as 3rd order Franciscans walked along with the float and hundreds of people surrounded the float on all sides! The enthusiasm was infectious and left Dave and me feeling exhilarated.

We returned to the hotel full of wonderfully colorful and meaningful memories. How special it is to participate in the many ways we pray to our God.

Death of a Dear Friend

2009-04-24T20:06:00.000-07:00

We are in Guatemala and are enjoying the beauty of the old city of Antigua. It is a wonderful break from all the business of responding to the books enthusiastic responses.It is raining today...a bit earlier than usual but it did not interfere at all in our wanderings.

Today, I picked up the emails and found one that makes me very sad. Frank Houdek S.J.

died at noon today. He was a great friend to me and I will miss him tremendously. I pray that he is at peace and that he continues to be a light to those of us who search for God in our lives.

We are off now for a swim in the heated pool which set in a glorious garden!It ought to be lovely at night.

Tomorrow we will go to nearby Mayan villages and to see some of the weavers of the area. The Guatemalan people are sweet and seem to smile all of the time! It makes me happy just to be around such happiness!

Creative Gifts Flow

2009-04-23T05:27:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to create a title for a workshop I am doing in June with little success. The titles that I sent to the people helping to promote the book were not hitting the mark.I was stumped and I was wondering when the creative gifts would begin to flow.

I awoke one morning this week to these words...' If you can feel it, God can heal it'. That was it!! The gift I awaited had arrived!

As I sat with this I realized this would be familiar material for a workshop. It is what I am about...healing the past so that we are free to experience the presence of Divine love within and all around us. So, the title is " Let Your Light Shine". I realized that I could teach this class immediately, the preparation is already done and in my heart. This is the second gift.

Transforming Fear...into a Light Heart

2009-04-18T20:59:00.000-07:00

It is apparent that there is a great deal of fear in our world and just as clear is the reality that some people feed on helping us to become fearful. The word feed is not a comfortable word. It makes me think of leeches or tics that feed off our life blood!

Yesterday I spoke to someone who like many,was glued to the television and obviously fearful and angry because of what he was hearing.His emotions were becoming more and more fired up.I found myself squirming inside,wanting to get away from the emotions that were being released and hoping I could steer him back to his repressed personal issues that were tied to these emotions.Honestly, there are things going on in the world that are unfair,evil and horrific but when our responses mirror those ugly events, then there is something hidden within us that needs looking at. If we have hidden our own anger and fear at what has been done to us as a child or young adult,those emotions are still within us,and get projected out into the worlds evil rather than to the evil that has been perpetrated against us. If you are feeling a great fear or are overly angry,enraged or hateful towards someone or some evil in the world ,ask yourself, "who in my life has enraged me,hurt me or shamed me that I am not allowing myself to fully acknowledge?" Then sit with the pain that your body holds for you and listen to the story with love and compassion until you have heard every word that wants to be spoken...every word and feeling from that deeply wounded yet very dear part of yourself.Remember to hold yourself with a felt sense of love,for love is what heals!

When we have done this well,we are free to be present to the world in a new way. When we see evil things that we can not change or that are too big for us to tackle alone we can pray to do something good to offset the evil...we can love more fully, we can smile more often, we can join an organization that is doing good in the world but we must be careful not to be lured into the evil in the guise of doing good. Negativity breeds negativity...we all know that. Or another way to say this is...what we focus on grows . If we focus on love and the good, we actually do confront that which is evil. When we fill our hearts with love,we bring light into the world and light does away with the darkness... effortlessly.I truly think this is what Jesus teaches ,by example. He sees beneath the darkness and calls forth the light,with love,still today.

Book Surprises!!

2009-04-09T22:46:00.000-07:00

Today Matthew, a gifted song writer and performer, a friend of my daughter and partner of my husband's God son, emailed to tell me he really liked my book. He said that he felt it was important to let me know. He continues to sing, he said, because people continue to respond favorably! Keep singing Matthew!!

I spoke to a friend I knew years ago who heard that I had written a book and called to say he ordered it and it had arrived. I had not spoken with him in about 20 years. This book is connecting me to so many people from my past. There was even a visit from my next door neighbor who found my sister on facebook and then found me. I had not seen Joan in about 55 years...amazing. She wrote to say she 'loved' the book!

I am continually surprised by the way this book is touching people! I had been told over and over by publishers that I had to write a book about'The Ten Ways to Spiritual Well Being' but NOT use my own story. My guidance was always to tell my story and I thank God I was faithful to the guidance rather than write to insure publication. The story seems to give people who read it permission to 'feel what they feel' and in so doing to clear old stuff... to lighten up, to be free!! Praise God!

There is nothing like a good friend

2009-04-01T11:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my friend Sharon came to visit. She lives in Portland now and we do not get to visit too often. We enjoyed a tasty lunch on the patio at Boulet's Larder , a wonderful cafe at San Francisco's Ferry Building. We chatted away, filling each other in on the latest and best news. After lunch, we walked along the Embarcadero, warmed by the sun and entertained by the people along the way and the activities on the bay...but mostly we talked! When we arrived at our condo, we changed into swim suits and indulged ourselves in the warmth of the outdoor spa for an hour or two more ,such fun...catching up!We began to talk about the stresses of our world and fear emerged as a common theme of these times.

Our conversation reminded me of Sparky, one of the prisoners that my husband and I work with at the prison in Jamestown. His son is going to Afganistan next week and Sparky's face was riddled with fear as he spoke about Bear, his 20 year old son. I shared with Sparky that perhaps,the fear could be used as a signal for him to pray for the safety of his son. Fear is only helpful if it is a warning that awakens us to something we need to change but in this case, Sparky could not change his son's destination. He could however, ask Sparky's angels to protect his son and that would be a helpful option.

As Sharon and I talked about fear and how destructive it can be, Sharon said"yes, fear is a thief. It steals my peace, my sleep,my happiness,my sense of safety,and worst of all, it steals my health, and if it could it would steal my life!"Wow, that resonated with us both and our conversation continued about how we might recognize when we are besieged by fear and how we can use that fear as a signal to pray rather than allow it to enter our inner homes and rob us of our treasures...our peace,joy and our health.

I must say it is a great gift to have a good friend visit! Our conversations are treasures! I am smiling as I write this!!

A Retreat for Me

2009-03-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

Last week,I attended a retreat at the Jesuit Retreat Center at Los Altos, Ca.

It has been a long time since I made a preached retreat. Actually, now that I think about it,I have never made a preached retreat. I have only experienced retreats that I have led or made retreats that were private. This was a retreat on Discernment led by Julio Giulietti, a Jesuit priest and president of Wheeling University in West Virginia. He had a very gentle,compassionate presence and spoke with ease,humor and no notes! What impressed me most of all, was his way of saying things that were familiar which by grace, I received more deeply than ever before. He very gently shared, for instance, that 'God made the world and loves the world', in such a way that I felt enormous compassion for all of us who struggle to walk the path...all of us,saints and sinners alike. I had a sense of being together with everyone in creation in a large pool and all imbued with a desire to love but some of us lost. I experienced a depth of sadness that I had not felt before,for the oppressed and the discarded people in the world,especially the women and I wept buckets of tears.In those tears,I discovered ways I am complicit with oppression and ways I have unconsciously, bought into not being good enough, because I am a woman. I wept even more! With all these tears,you are probably wondering how I feel about my retreat? Well, honestly,it was a great blessing for me...not an easy blessing but truly, a blessed moment. I realized that my ministry over these last 30 some odd years has been all about freeing myself and the women who came my way so that we can experience the joy that God intends for us. This retreat was another grace that awakened me to the next step of self acceptance and self-celebration as one made in the image and likeness of a Mother God who is crazy about me...and you! Thanks,Julio...I hope our paths cross often!

Learning in the Prison

2009-03-17T15:29:00.000-07:00

Last night Dave and I were once again at the prison teaching our class, 'Spirituality for Everyday Life'. Often when I arrive at the prison I am tired and sometimes even wish I could just stay home and relax. But the amazing thing is that I never leave the prison without feeling energized and happier than when I arrived. What is happening to make this possible? I believe it is the genuine gratitude of the men who really like this class but even more, it is in the gift of sitting with them for about two hours in prayer. Sometimes when we say the closing prayer, and everyone is free to leave, the Spirit of God is so present that we all sit there silently,basking in the love. The men share their blessings and challenges of the week and last night Christopher said that his big challenge is to refrain from complaining. How anyone could come to this while in prison is beyond me yet Christopher is accomplishing it. I wondered if I could do half as much in my blessedly free and bountiful life on 'the streets'?

Kindness brings a smile

2009-03-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

There is so much on the news that is frightening and disheartening that I am paying more attention than usual to the ordinary kindness that I find along the way. This morning, I had two wonderful moments of kindness.I am exploring the San Francisco muni system these days and today I got reading a wonderful article in America Magazine by John Cavidini on " Evil: the Good Corrupted". I was so captivated by the article that I missed my stop. I was fascinated by the people who came to assist me in finding my way, some of whom actually walked me to the appropriate station to get the proper train and waved good by to me.I could only smile -my heart was full of gratitude.Then on my return I found myself between two elderly ladies who were quite taken by my I phone as I typed an email. We began to chat. One of the ladies, was about 5 feet tall and dressed beautifully in red. She was on her way to meet her friend at Neiman Marcus for lunch. She never takes the muni she said but this time her husband was busy with the plumber and so here she was. Not sure where to get off the train,I began to help her and was overheard by those near-by. They took over as her stop approached and I saw them as they escorted her towards the correct escalator. She and I waved good by and we both had our smiles. The other woman knew her way around the system but appreiated our conversation and although she boarded the train with a scowl, she left with a grin on her face. Spring is in the air...even the flowers are smiling!

The book has an exciting path

2009-03-11T13:19:00.000-07:00

Today, I have been talking to Nansea Arquette at Dawn's Light in Sonora, Ca. Dawn's light is one of very few organizations in California, devoted to helping people of all ages grieve the loss of a loved one. It is also one of the organizations that I have chosen to receive part of the book's proceeds. I am going to give a talk at Dawn's Light on March 28th on "Writing as a Path of Healing".There will also be a book signing. I am looking forward to being there with the folks who come to listen and share their journey's through life's hurts. I am also in the thick of plans to be on the East Coast in June for book signings, a tv show, talks etc. It is quite something to follow this book around and meet so many interesting and excited people. Of course, I do not hear too much from the folks who do not like the book. I have twice heard that I use the word God too much. I suppose I could suggest to those folks that they substitute the word love because to me they are the same....both hard to define,what we are made to be one with and oh so difficult to find fault with...etc.!

Lent, A Time of Growing

2009-03-02T13:30:00.000-08:00

My husband and I went to Mass this morning. It was so peaceful and as always challenging. The teachings of Jesus are always challenging if I am willing to spend a moment really listening to them, which I did today.On Monday's we teach a class called "Spirituality for Everyday Life" and morning Mass is a way of beginning our reflection for the class. There are somewhere between 12 and 25 inmates depending on lock-downs.These are men who are hungering for God and a new way of being in the world. We never know if we help them to make significant changes but we find our work in the prison to be a blessing for us. There were two things that I found challenging in today's gospel ( Matthew 's gospel on the sheep and the goats). The first were the use of the words eternal punishment. My husband suggested that the word eternal could be the 'eternal now'. I know when I feel encased in darkness that the feeling is sometimes one of being eternal...as though it will never end. I like the idea of using eternal that way. I experience hell when I feel separated from God or love and so too, I experience heaven when I am connected and in love! The other challenging thought was when I heard that we are blessed by God when we choose to love and serve as God invites.I heard something new here! I believe we are all chosen to love and serve but when I close my eyes the presence of love or the call to love, I do not accept the blessings offered. Also, when I deny my sinfulness, I am not open to receiving the graces which flow. Forgiveness is always offered but I must ask for that gift.We will bring some of these musings to the men in prison tonight along with a guided meditation to help them experience God's love for them and their love for God...and all God's creation!

A Sense of Freedom

2009-02-19T00:11:00.000-08:00

Today as I was sitting quietly, I heard " I can be Catholic and be me!" I have been reading many emails from people reading my book saying that they they had left their religion of birth because it felt too constricting but after reading my book were invited to rethink their choice. This is one response that I never even considered and I am in awe!

It seems that especially for women, the emergence of the true self requires one to leave institutions that are repressive. The search for empowerment is driven by a desire to be free...to be fully alive. It is something akin to a chick breaking open a shell or a snake shedding it's skin. If either fails the animal will die. It is exactly how I felt when I left my marriage and subsequently my church. Returning to the church was 'orders from headquarters' and I am back as 'I am' with no apologies for the transformation I have received. I am free to be me and be Catholic. The repressive nature of the hierarchies has ,in my eyes, to do with limited thinking caused by fear. It does not affect me as it used to but I do pray for a lifting of the fear,the need to control and repress and an inflow of the Spirit of Christ. I have compassion as I watch with sadness,men in high places talk out of both sides of their mouth at the same time,causing confusion and disbelief. It is at best sad and at worst, horrifying.I wonder, "Where is their sense of freedom?"

A Snowy Day in Twain Harte

2009-02-15T10:20:00.000-08:00

It is so beautiful this morning.Sofia, our Mother is showering us with tiny white crystals called snow! We so need Her blessing. We had our prayer and healing circle scheduled for today but you know the story line...the best laid plans etc! This is just another teaching in surrender,learning to let go and give thanks! We decided to send an email with all the prayer requests to all the participants and we will pray as a circle but in our own homes. Jesus says that where 2 or more are gathered in His name, He will be with us...we are many more that two! This new way actually invites more people into the circle and that is quite wonderful.

So if you are reading this today,know that lots of healing love is going out into the universe and feel free to join the circle.

Much peace to you today. Enjoy the beauty all around you.

A Delightful Celebration!

2009-02-14T23:34:00.000-08:00

On Sunday, we had another wonderful gathering to celebrate the publication of my book.

There were more than 90 people, all excited to be there,all filled with enthusiasm and all wanting to read the book or if they had read it, to share it with others. I am now aware that I spent time in prayer preparing myself to face criticism but never thought about receiving such overwhelmingly positive responses. I give thanks to the Mother God who guided me every step of the way!!

My husband and I went up to Calistoga for a couple of days after the party. I really needed to be quiet and have time to rest in the gratitude that filled me. Floating in the naturally warmed mineral pool was the perfect place to give thanks...I felt as though I were floating in Her Womb!

A Delightful Celebration!

2009-02-14T23:33:00.001-08:00

A new Adventure

2009-02-05T12:04:00.001-08:00

I believe that everyday is a new adventure and it seems to me that part of the delight I feel is experiencing whatever comes my way as gift! Sometimes that gift is not very well wrapped and I may think that I do not want it.In the past, I have often turned my back on the offering. But I have learned that if I am willing to carefully and lovingly open the 'gift' I will find a treasure. Listening to myself and to others is key to discovering the treasure...listening with love and compassion, listening with a deep desire to hear the truth! I listened to my husband today as he told me that he no longer wanted to feed the dog! I heard in his voice a longing to find the time he needs to finish his work and a need to cut back on some of the things he does around the house. What's the gift,you ask? Well, how about the gift of a happier husband...a good one! I do not mind the job of feeding Emma but until this morning I did not know he did!It will be a new adventure!

A Wonderful Celebration

2009-02-03T19:42:00.000-08:00

On Sunday the 31st, we had more than 70 people here to celebrate the publication of my book. It was such a joyous party. People brought flowers,cards and their very cheerful, congratulatory selves! I was busy most of the time,from 4-7 pm, signing books and chatting one on one with people.I continue to be amazed at the positive response from readers.They love the book,are reading it a second time,are doing the reflection questions and passing it on to friends. I am so thankful!

But...I am finding myself wondering when the shoe will drop and I will receive critical responses. Then, I have to sit myself down and say"Pamela, what are you creating with this fear?" I realize that kind of thinking is an old habit that no longer serves me or my readers. I recall that this book was inspired and guided by the Holy Spirit. I ask for the grace to receive whatever comes with gratitude and my ego rests.Blessings, friend!

Surprises!

2009-01-29T22:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday a man in Starbucks turned and began chatting with me! After he ordered his coffee he told the woman"I want to pay for whatever this woman orders"! Was I ever surprised! When I asked him why, he said " Because I am a very blessed man". I thanked him and I gave him a card with my web site printed on it and told him there would be a surprise for him on my web site! So, my friend, "Thank you for the tea. It was a delightful moment for me. I pray your blessings will be even greater!"

Today, I was standing in front of the ticket machine at the train station trying to figure out how to buy a ticket to Palo Alto when a man came up to me and said "Here, I have an extra ticket." He smiled as he handed it to me and left, as I,sort of dumbfounded, was saying thank you! "And for you kind sir...a bounty of blessings too"!

I am just smiling and wondering what these angels will do next to make me awaken to the wonder of life on this planet!!

Another Surprise

2009-01-29T22:18:00.000-08:00

I have not yet gotten in the habit of writing in my blog but I do want to do so often.

So here goes...

Yesterday, I went into Starbucks to get a cup of tea for Dave. He was busy loading the car with baskets for our San Francisco condo. As I stood on line the man in front of me turned and looked at me. He was nice looking, a very kind face,dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. He asked me" How are you today?" I responded joyfully, "I'm just great,happy to be on the planet"! And then I added " And how are you?" He said "fine,I'm just fine".We exchanged a few more words about his work and I added how fortunate he was to have a job. He smiled. Then the lady behind the counter asked for his order. When he finished ordering he said to her" Add whatever this lady orders to my bill". Surprised and touched I asked him "why'and he said "I am a very blessed man".Now, I smiled and I thanked him. I gave him the card with the web site for the book and said that he might find a surprise if he looked on his computer!

Book Signing and Celebration

2009-01-19T11:02:00.000-08:00

We are having a wonderful party to celebrate the publication of the book on Saturday January 31st from 4-7pm at Two Bears Dancing. RSVP for the address and more information. We are also having a party in San Francisco and if you would like more information on that please e-mail us.

A Spring Day in January

2009-01-18T16:00:00.000-08:00

Today is exceptionally beautiful especially because it was so sunny and warm... a treat in January! We walked for about an hour on a trail along the water that feeds the San Francisco reservoirs. As I listened to the gurgling water and watched the crystals as the water hit the trees and rocks I felt the joy of just being there! Sometimes, when people ask me "how are you?" I say," I am really fine and so happy to be on the planet." At first they kind of nod as though they want me to know they heard but I know they are thinking about what I just said and wondering...happy to be on the planet, what does that mean?Then, they smile and I know they got it! Yes, we are blessed to be here and every day,I try to recall all of the blessings. I pray to see the little or even big blessings that I would otherwise miss.When I get crabby,I know I need to get outside and walk...everything in nature talks to me, teaches me and by it's very nature,it's purity and egoless state, is fully enlightened! I always come home happy!

More Book Praises

2009-01-17T18:17:00.000-08:00

This has been a full day with people here for Spiritual Direction, emails galore and phone calls! I am again deeply touched by peoples response to the book. Today a woman who is here on retreat read the book from cover to cover. She said she could not put it down!

"It is a transformational book" she said " and I feel as though it has transformed me. I cried as you shared your story but I did not cry for you, I cried for myself as I recalled my story". That is what I hope...that my story will bring you to your story. I invite you to hold your story with love and allow it to speak, teach and heal you.

Tomorrow is Sunday and we will attend our local church. I will be praying for all qwho read the book that they be moved to whatever transformation awaits them and so enter a greater level of peace and joy!

Blessings to you,

Pamela

A Beautiful Walk

2009-01-15T16:30:00.000-08:00

Once again I am at the computer responding to emails about the book.

Kellie, a 23 year old friend who has been helping me with book stuff, said today that she loves the book.

I think that when young people respond to a book favorably that it is important to pay attention. I will ask her to say more about what she finds interesting!

When my husband returned from his meeting,we went for a lovely walk. It is beautiful here among the cedars and leafless Black Oaks. We chatted with a few neighbors and just enjoyed the warmth of the sun.It is in the 60's today...not bad for the mountains in January!

Now, lots of folks are responding to the invitations for the book parties....I think we will have wonderful celebrations!!

Bless you!

The End of a Busy Day

2009-01-14T18:45:00.000-08:00

Hello,

This has been quite a day...lots of calls and emails from people who have read the book. "It reads like a novel" said Judy! Judy read all day long until she finished.

In the meantime,I went to the doctor's because I had a bad case of the hives!! Oh,my,

did I ever itch. Better now though, thank God! What did I ingest?

Yesterday,I chatted briefly with a woman in the check-out lane of the grocery store.

Her eyes were vacant and she had no smile. I wondered what pain was in her heart.

Since then, I have been remembering her and all the people who have something painful that their hearts are holding for them. I am sending her love and the many others like her as well.Buried pain steals our smile!

I wonder if it also causes hives...what did I ingest?

Entering the world of blogdom

2009-01-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

With the help of my friend Kellie, I am pleased to announce I have a blog. I am aware from some of you that you have already received your books and I look forward to chatting with you about how you experienced the book. It's hard for me to believe that it is already in your hands after working for so many years to get it out there. It is a kind of a birthing and I hope that you like the results.

Blessings,

Pamela